Stranger in a Familial Land

I often lament having grown up outside the circle of my extended family, mourning the security of a strong network of cousins, aunts, and uncles surrounding a core of grandparents – and then I return to small-town Ohio and instantly appreciate the cultural smorgasbord that is my life. My Norman Rockwell fantasies fade in the light of petty squabbles, ceaseless gossip, and outright meddling. There is nothing like spending a few days with your family illustrate the origin of some of your least favorite personality traits.

I have come to Ohio to attend the wedding of a cousin, who as it turns out, is quite a celebrity in the farming town of Fayette. I won’t bore my non-relational readers with details of the ceremonies aside from reassuring the bride that those goofy little mishaps that seem so frustrating today - like when the priest (who, by the way, manufactures dynamite as a hobby) forgets your name - will indeed become the treasured moments that you cherish tomorrow. Regardless of the numerous protocol deviations, it was indeed one hell of a good party. I truly enjoyed spending the evening with my family, even if they were their best behavior.

Except for Grandma: