12 June 2011

da Funk

I've been waking up feeling sad and gloomy lately.  I can't quite pinpoint the reason, but I find myself reflecting on my life and wondering about the future.  Increasingly, I am coming to the realization that I will never 'discover' my true calling.  I've been living under the delusion that one day, I will will take some turn on my life path and will suddenly and completely become infused with tremendous energy and passion....that I will find THE 'thing' that makes me devote myself without reservation to some endeavor, enriching my both my soul and the future of mankind.  Now such fantasy seems as foolish as being rescued by Prince Charming.

If anything, my passion is dwindling - although there is the distinct possibility that it is being sucked out of me, but I'll explore that another day.  I can't seem to muster much enthusiasm for any activity at the moment.  I am dragging myself through the motions of daily life, faking it when required.  I just can't be arsed about anything right now.

And speaking of arsed:

There just isn't enough frivolity or silliness in my life right now.  It's not that everything is serious or dire, but there isn't any sizzle either.  What happened to my 'happy go lucky' attitude?  When did I stop singing?  Where did I put my weird? 

I perked up a bit later when we strolled through a salvage shop filled with life-sized statues of pirates, Indians, celebrities and animals.  I determined I would indulge myself with the purchase of any weird and useless item that caught my fancy.  An Egyptian sarcophagus?  A giant shark head to plant in the front yard? A zulu midget holding a menu board, perhaps?

Unfortunately, I was disappointed that all the seemingly cool old statues, were merely plastic replicas.  Although, I was quite attracted to the life-sized animatronic tyrannosaurus rex, I decided that my self-indulgent wallowing was not quite worth $25,000.  However, $895 for Barak Obama seemed a bargain...but I'd hate to take him away from his current position.

So I decided to come home, make chili, and weep quietly while watching The Aristocats on TV...sigh.