Pussification

Whilst flipping through the channels this morning, we could not resist a brief pause upon hearing the voices of two American announcers. I am certainly no fan of NASCAR Racing, but Saturday morning programming selections are rather limited with the next most interesting program being the Greek News Hour. And so we watched for a few laps, if only to hear the soothing buzz of high octane engines wasting precious resources while soldiers over seas die to procure futures of crude oil.

One of the first things I noticed is that when the announcers cut to a commercial break, the Australian feed simply continued showing the race without commentary (to which Kevin remarked “Great! They found a way to make NASCAR even more boring?”). I cannot decide if Australia has not fully grasped the economic implications of having paid commercial airtime for 3 out of every 5 minutes of a sports broadcast, or if their reverence for athletic competition supersedes greed. Either way, it is a decidedly civilized tradition. American football games are typically shown here without all of the annoying commercial breaks, like immediately after a change of possession and whenever a time out is called. For a live broadcast, the cameras just keep showing the action on the sidelines; for a re-broadcast, an entire game may be viewed in under two hours! Rugby League games consist of two 40 minute halves, with zero commercial interruptions during play. Truly, it is a far more civilized approach to televised sports.

The second thing I noticed about NASCAR was the unusual and unlikely sponsors of the cars. Mind you, having already stated that I am not a NASCAR fan, I was still quite surprised to discover the complete and total pussification of the sport with regard to the complete and total absence of sponsors representing the alcohol and tobacco industries. It seems NASCAR has gone the way of Las Vegas in bending over to court the family-friendly politically-correct dollar. I suppose it was inevitable, maybe even wholesome. Nonetheless, I find it disturbing to see race cars sponsored my Quick Cuts, Clorox Bleach, and HAAS Avocados from Mexico (who new a breed of avocado had so much extra cash.) I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before there will be cars with hoods adorned by nauseating ads for Huggies, Kotex, and Monistat.

And since I’m having a rant, why the hell are there race cars sponsored by all the branches of the US Armed Forces, including the US Border Patrol? I understand that those particular government agencies have some sort of a budget for public relations and recruitment, but I think there needs to be a serious congressional review of their budgets if they are able to spend one million dollars for prime placement of their message on the hood of a race car. Am I the only one who thinks that may constitute a gross misuse of tax revenue?

And who the fuck thinks, “Hey, The US Army hasn’t won a race all season! I think I’ll sign up to have my balls shot off in Iraq!”