Revisionist History

Today marks the anniversary of the day when the Irish loaded all their snakes onto convict ships and sent them to the new colony of Australia. Without snakes, the tiny emerald isle was soon over run with killer gerbils, so everyone came to Australia to get them back. But the snakes had slithered off to the outback to eat bilbys and other small marsupials, and the Irish people soon became very thirsty and hungry, but they couldn't find a Guinness or a decent meat pie anywhere. They had no choice but to open a pub. On every corner. To celebrate, they declared a national day of public drunkenness, but named it after Saint Patrick to lend credibility to the event.


Indeed, on my way to work, the patios of Paddy Maguire's and Scruffy Murphy's were already overflowing with sloppy louts sporting green and orange jester hats or giant foam shamrocks.

Come to think of it, what the hell am I doing at work?