Jiggity-Jig

I would need to take the next week off from work in order to compose any sort of cohesive narrative of the last week of my US visit. Returning to San Jose is always a whirlwind experience, and since unforseen circumstances abridged the duration of that leg of our journey, I felt like I was squishing a 7 day schedule into a 76 hour time slot. Many conversations were cut short; many important things left unsaid.

I feel the need to summarize the experiences of my first trip back home in 1.5 years, to somehow draw a few poignant conclusions that would either justify all of my life’s decisions or ignite a shining beacon that points the way towards my destiny. But if I am learning one thing about life (my life anyway), it is that I should make good friends with uncertainty, doubt, and ambiguity as they will be my constant companions on this earthly trek. I am tempted to say that I simply need more time to process the jumble of emotions experienced over the last month, but I know that in reality, I will never quite ‘figure it out’, because feelings don’t obey the rules of reason.

So, instead, here is a jumble of random conclusions and observations that is in no way meant to be comprehensive or definitive:

1) I am absolutely bored to death with conversations about the price of gasoline.

2) Cats are disloyal sluts who will sell out 13 years of care and affection for a little bit of canned tuna.

3) With the exception of using the windshield wipers to indicate a turn, my brain adapts easily to driving on either side of the road. Being a pedestrian is an entirely different matter.

4) The food in America is delicious – as evidenced by the fact that, once again, none of my clothes fit. But I did have 30 days of remarkably wonderful bowel movements.

5) People who barf on airplanes suck.

6) Nothing cures a crying jag like fearing for one’s life, for example, when an airplane nearly rattles itself apart shortly after take-off.

7) Roberta’s tacos al pastor still rock my word (See #4 above).

8) Sniffer beagles seem to really enjoy their work, but what happens when they get too old? Does Australia provide a nice retirement plan, or are they adopted out, and if so, would they always be peeing on your groceries?

9) Intensive research abroad has reinforced my conclusions regarding Australian toilets (see #4 above.)

10) I nearly wept when I removed my perfectly unwrinkled jeans from my clothes dryer.

11) Political campaigns that last 1.5 years are a preposterous waste of time, money, and valuable brain space. My adoration of the Australian election system has been rekindled.

12) Travelling from winter to summer is invigorating, but returning to winter is a complete shock to the system.

13) Americans are egocentric, gullible, and crass – but they are also very creative, which means the above terms can be construed to indicate that Americans are also confident, open-hearted, and do not readily submit to frivolous rules of etiquette and social convention. I was surprised that I was not more irritated by them (as I often am here, oddly). It was an amazing relief to instinctively know the proper way of behaving. Here, I feel that I am constantly making some sort of embarrassing guffaw that only reinforces the generally ill opinion of Americans held by many Australians.


We got back to our apartment early this morning and the door slammed behind me with a woosh of finality. I knew the trip would go by quickly, but looking back, it feels strange that a month full of intense impressions and emotions can fit into a place as tiny as my brain. After a little nap, we took the train downtown for lunch. Slightly dazed by fatigue, I was contemplating my definition of home and considering all the places I have lived that still feel like home to me. I wasn’t sure if returning to Sydney felt like ‘coming home’ or merely like ‘coming back’. Then, in the middle of the lunch time crowds, I felt a quick tug at my elbow. It was my friend, Valerie.

“Hey! Hi. How was your trip? Welcome home.”