19 January 2008

Yanks Down Under

Minutes of the Sydney Yanks Down Under Meet-Up
Chapter 457

Saturday, 19 January, 2008 17:30

James Squire Brewhouse
Darling Harbour

In Attendance:

Audra – Always happy to be in a brewery.
Devona – Got a job. Congratulations!
Jonathon – Can build serviceable furniture from empty takeaway containers.
Kevin – Didn’t yell at a single taxi all night.
Mike – Doesn’t want to hear how expensive anything is.
Natasha – Heiress to the Vernor’s Ginger Ale Empire – the paparazzi were annoying.
Saji – His accent is going to throw Australia for a loop.
Tracey – Not on the board, but a Yank Down Under nonetheless.
Val – Has an excellent collection of airline blankets.

1) Meeting called to order
2) Motion to order drinks
3) Introductions: place of origin, employment status, time in Australia
4) Floor opened for general discussion.
a. 14 hour flights
b. Apartment hunting
c. Customer service
d. Ikea
e. Gastronomy
f. Taxes
g. Superannuation
h. Vasectomies
i. Merits of public transport
j. The Cricket (Saji broke the consensus, so if you are looking for someone to go to a test with you, contact him directly.)
k. Reasons for the Australian skills shortage
l. Money transfers
m. International freight
n. Cruise liners
o. Australia Day activities
p. The blessing that is Dan Murphy’s
q. Cross examination of techniques for public urination
r. Spelling and syntax
s. Visa subclasses
t. Travel within Australia
u. Medical insurance
v. Doggy blow jobs

5) Motion to order more drinks
6) Motion to order several racks of ribs
7) Tracey and Natasha departed to make enchiladas for their Aussie boyfriends. Motion carried that Tracey and Natasha will soon make enchiladas for the rest of us.
8) Motion to order more drinks.
9) Meeting relocated to Cockle Bay for performance of Water Fools.



Sorry – bear with me for a moment while I break into a rant: Modern art in general and performance art in particular invariably causes me to frown. I suppose that the purpose of such art is indeed to encourage people to examine the deeper meaning of existence and the human experience while reflecting on the evolution of social themes, but why can’t it ever make any fucking sense!? Perhaps I am trying to over-intellectualize what is meant to be a purely sensory experience, but the imagery becomes a splinter in my brain. I know the artist is trying to communicate some great universal truth, and I feel it is a personal shortcoming because I simply cannot understand the language of a naked crone with sagging breasts and gazelle antlers spinning in circles in a fiery canoe while another lady pushes a baby carriage with a child and an alien in tow past a large floating bed tethered to a tree with sheets as another woman rides on top of a hamster exercise wheel until her head explodes. What are you trying to tell me?? MY head is about to explode!

10) Meeting relocated to Scruffy Murphy’s
11) Motion to order more drinks
12) Meeting relocated to Hungry Jacks.
a. Resolved: Hungry Jacks has the best cheeseburgers in Australia, not only because they have real pickles, but they taste great.
13) Meeting relocated to North Shore Line via Town Hall.
a. In transit entertainment courtesy of NSW Police
14) Saji departed North Sydney
a. Resolved: Saji to post pictures because my photography skills are seriously lacking.
15) Meeting relocated to St Leonards tavern
16) Motion to order more drinks
17) Motion to order more drinks
18) Meeting Adjourned

Next Meeting tentatively scheduled for Sunday, 24 February - Location TBD

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You went to St Leonards Tavern? The TAVERN? The den I lovingly refer to as: The Pub Where People Get Stabbed.

I kid you not. If you go there during a rugby league state of origin match, I urge you to attend with a large group of people. It is imperative also that you barrack (cheer) for the right team, otherwise the crowd might turn and box your ears in (punch you up in the carpark).

Gosh. The Tavern. You're a brave bunch LOL. Good to know you had a jolly night out tho!