Dear Colleagues,

I was so mortified by the horrific odour emanating from the refrigerator in the tea room this morning that I was loathe to place my lunch inside lest it become infiltrated by the stench. Thus, in my disgust, I went on a rampage of purging the offending appliance of shrivelled apples, mouldy bread, and numerous takeaway containers filled with frothy unidentifiable substances. If any of those items were your intended lunch, come see me and we can have a little chat about gastroenteritis.

The refirigerator (and freezer) still contain several dubious food items and the smell is not much improved. Therefore , I am VOLUNTEERING to provide a thorough scrubbing of the interior. In exchange for my efforts, I am making an executive decision:

Effective February 1st: ALL food, beverage, and condiment items stored within the refrigerator MUST be clearly labelled with a name and date or they will be discarded (or eaten) on a periodic basis with no warning or due compensation.

If you would like to discuss this policy, please come talk to me. I am open to negotiation. However, being that we are all reasonably educated and mature adults, not to mention scientists – to whom dating and initialling should be second nature by now – I do not see that there should be any objections to implementing a system that will foster a more pleasant, if not hygienic, kitchen facility for us all.

Sincerely,


Audra McKinze