Spending large sums of money always makes me anxious, but my heart was absolutely pounding out of my chest as I hit the "pay now" button to purchase two round trip tickets to San Francisco. Perhaps my palpitations had less to do with the $4,000 than the mix of nervous excitement at the thought of going home after 1 and 1/2 years in Australia.
I am thrilled by the prospects of visiting with my family and friends, petting The Cow, saying 'hello' to all my 'stuff' so hastily abandoned, eating buckets of Mexican food, and seeing some of my favorite places, smelling some of my favorite smells, and hearing some of my favorite sounds.
But I am also a little frightened.
My anticipation is already straining under the weight of unavoidable scrutiny as I must reconcile my memories against reality. As I experience frustration and annoyance with life in Australia, I invariably romanticize life ‘back home’. This visit is sure to be wrought with emotion and tension as one by one my fantasies either blossom or fade in the face of actuality.
Will nostalgia propel my destiny back to the homeland?
Or, will disillusionment reshape my outlook on this antipodean life?
Most likely, there will be a little of both, and I shall be eternally adrift on the shifting sea of unstable convictions, where the direction of my life is determined by the currents of happenstance and the winds of whimsy.
Stay tuned to find out.
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11 comments:
I FINALLY added a link to your blog on my blog reader. So, I will make my very first comment :)
1. Congrats on getting tickets back home.
2. $4000??? HOLY SHIT
3. you definitely will have a bit of both...when I went home last time, I had such an amazing time- that it was hard to come back. But there are things here in Sydney that i've grown to love and I missed those.
4. Can't wait to hear your experiences and how it is for you to travel back to CA.
-elsja from ydu
This is down the block from us. We'll buy you some Tim Tams and an Ozzie flag for your car's antenna.
Hi Elsja! Funny thing is, the exact same flights purchased in the US cost half that! HALF! If it is the same plane making the same flight, how can it cost so much less if you start the trip in San Francisco?? Bloody convict airline...bunch of theives...We just might start hanging out in the lounge room of the Mascot Holiday Inn and see if we can't hook up with a pilot or a sky waitress.
Eddie - That store actually has pretty good prices. However, please do not buy me any Tim Tams. They may be the national cookie, but I think they are gross. Now Lamingtons, on the other hand...But what I really want is THIS. Why was that ever in stock and who besides me would ever need it??
There is a counterpart store
in Melbourne called USA Foods. It's funny to see what products are missed by expats and conjure up cozy feelings of the motherland. And heck, only $30 (about $27 USD) for a case of soda.
"Nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. Nostalgia may or may not also be known as homesickness."
Or so sez Wikipedia.
Sounds like disillusionment is a necessary portion of nostalgia/homesickness. Idealization hardly ever stands up to reality.
So...I'm screwed...?
I'm having hyperlink problems...I want THIS:(http://www.aussieproducts.com/prodinfo.asp?number=DHBHDC)
And, can someone clue me in as to the proper code for putting a hyperlink into my comments...
This?
So, when are you off?
This is exactly how I felt the first time I went back to China from Sydney. There are things I like and dislike in both countries, I so looked forward to the nice things back home, but unavoidably also had to re-experience the things that I dont like. But it's always worth the time and money, that's home.. sweet home!!
you make me homesick now, or Nostalgia!?
Yo, the land of genocide denial ain't such a lovely place.
A country whose foundation is Genocide, land theft and slavery can't talk too much shit about the rest of the world now...
On a personal note--I am stoked you are coming back! Have a safe and fun trip--that must be a long one!
Write me!
max.macias AT Gmail.com
Talk to you soon friend!
ps--you look pretty damn good for 40 Audra!
;-)
Max
Are you talking about America or Australia? Oh wait, Australia apologized for their genocide and land theft and then gave the natives National Parks to run - we gave the Indians Casinos - which I think are more profitable.
We will discuss this further over beer and tacos.
Lowrider Librarian!! How awesome is that?!
Our winding paths are telepathically crossing again .. I'm flying out of San Francisco next month to Oz.
When are you flying out to SF??
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