16 October 2009

Double Down

"Now Serving: numb-brr...twenty-aight...at...win-doh...nigh-en-teen."



"Good Morning. I should like to have my licenc(s)e back, please."



"Did you lose it?"



"Sort of. I mean, I know where it went. I just don't have it."



Australian driving privileges are linked to a point-based demerit system whereby various offences are assigned arbitrary penalties based on their heinousness. Holiday weekends automatically double the heinousness of any given infraction - as if God and Queen are especially put out when you get a little enthusiastic with the accelerator pedal on their respective birthdays. However, some transgressions are serious enough to warrant instant, and I mean INSTANT suspension of said privileges. For example, exceeding the posted speed limit by more than 45 km per hour in a rented BMW Z4...

Six months and sixteen hundred and seventy-four dollars later, I entered the tidy offices of the RTA (DMV) to request reinstatement of my privileges only to discover that, in addition to the penalties I had already suffered, my speeding violation also netted me six demerit points. However, since my transgression occurred on Easter Monday (that's an official calendar day), I had automatically reached the critical threshold resulting in an additional 3 month suspension.

"Can't I get credit for time served? Isn't it unconstitutional to penalize me twice for the same violation?"

"Sorry, our constitution does not include provisions for the rights of individuals. However, you may apply for a good behaviour bond. That will be twenty-two dollars, please."

So I made an oath before God and Queen, not to receive any demerit points for the next 12 months. If I blow it, my penalty is doubled and I will lose my licens(c)e for an additional 6 months.

Have I ever mentioned how much gambling is woven into the fabric of Australian society?

Consider it mentioned.

8 comments:

rpg said...

Bloody hell. Are you *sure* you want to stay in that 3rd world country?

Leone Fabre said...

Ouch... you were SPEEDING??

That is bad ... I guess when you break the law - in any country - one must 'pay the fine'.... have been fined for speeding in the past, never lost the license though. Guess I learned my lesson well when I had to part with the dollars...

.... oh yes, then I spent 10 years working in a major hospital. Certainly saw a lot of pain caused by speeding drivers that thought it wouldn't happen to them. :-(

You wouldn't want to break any laws in Singapore, they might just whip you ... rape and murder? well don't worry, they won't whip you.

They hang you.

Author! Author! said...

For the most part, I am a quiet law-abiding citizen, very respectful of my host country's governances...but I got a bit carried away.

However, I am confident, that should I ever visit Singapore, I would be able to refrain from any indulgences that might get me hanged.

Though I confess, I am quite reluctant to visit countries that have dealth penalties for lesser crimes...

Suzer said...

Please tell me you didn't really have to make an oath? If so, I believe my husband has had to do the same many, many, many times;) One more ticket and he'll be doing it again!

Author! Author! said...

OK, so not an oath exactly...(see blog disclaimer), but it was an 'election' and I did have to sign a document promising to be good and acknowledging the consequences of future indiscretions.

Anonymous said...

They have your promise to be good in writing? Oh dear.

Darcie

Black2Oz said...

Let me guess....the dreaded camera ticket? Cameras everywhere in this town...can't get away with anything. At least the lines were shorter at the RTA right?!!

Author! Author! said...

Oh no, it was a flesh and blood constable, and he was most annoyed with me. When he asked "Is there any reason you needed to be going that fast?" I thought of all the possible explanations, but knew he would only hear "I'm a foolish American in a rented BMW with a sense of entitlement and disregard for the laws of my host country."