The Bread Winner

“Sorry, Honey – I didn’t buy that bread you really like.”

“Why not? You said that was good bread.”

“Yeah I know, but the label said it supports women’s health, and I just couldn’t bring myself to buy it. So instead I bought the bread that supports men’s health.”

“What, you were afraid you’d start having a period, so now I have to risk growing a beard? What exactly makes a bread support ‘men’s health’?”

“Well, it has lots of whole grains to promote a healthy digestion.”

“Women don’t digest? The bread I buy has lots of whole grains.”

“And this one has soy to promote male reproductive health.”

“My bread has soy.”

“Yes, but that soy is to promote female reproductive health.”

“What is different about the soy?”

“Probably nothing.”

“Then wouldn’t my bread also promote male reproductive health?”

“Yes, but your bread is for women.”

“So now we need to buy two loaves of bread? Wasn’t there some sort of gender-neutral bread with whole grains and soy?”

“Yes, but that is for transvestite reproductive health.”

“Did it say that on the label?”

“No. Look – I just couldn’t be seen buying women’s bread when there was men’s bread right next to it.”

“Just who do you think is watching you buy bread?”

“I don’t know. That’s the point.”

“Well, how does it taste?”

“Like bread.”