A Rare Politicoreligious Treatise by Me

I really should be working.  I have a ton of stuff to do...but the internet is a formidable distraction and for some reason, I suddenly had the inexplicable urge to research Rick Santorum's religious beliefs.  Which lead me to the highly annotated (sarcasm) website, godvoter.org, evidently maintained by some web savvy goofballs who feel compelled to keep track of the Faith Testimony of political candidates.  Although there seems to be no question of his values, godvoter.org is not pleased with Rick's lack of Faith Testimony.

But this is all very boring.  What captured my attention and compelled me to take finger to keyboard was the following statements:

Speaking of Jihadists, in a 2007 article penned after Mitt Romney's speech on Mormonism, Rick Santorum expressed the following beliefs:

"I'm more concerned about losing our children to jihadis or a materialistic culture than losing them to Mormonism." - Rick Santorum, The Philadelphia Inquirer, December 20, 2007

Christian children martyred by "jihadis" go to heaven, while children who die as Mormons go to hell (here is why). Jesus said:

"And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!" - Luke 12:4-5

 I'm not quite sure what the hell Luke is on about, but I am absolutely delighted to hear that godvoter.org is in complete agreement with my own personal dogma - mormons are worse than jihadis.

It's true.  I have never had jihadis knock on my door, interrupting my afternoon cartoons and bong loads to discuss my personal beliefs, nor have I ever been inconvenienced by a group of jihadis while camping at a hot springs resort in Idaho.  I am so relieved to know that godvoter.org and I can find a happy middle ground.

Given the statements above, I assume the following refers to Mitt Romney, and I absolutely adore the logic of it:

Continued campaigning by both Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich is dividing the conservative vote, risks handing the Republican nomination to the High Priest of a Satanic cult, and should stop.

 Yes - just stop it.  All of you.