I don’t wish to write a treatise on the stupidity of the
modern calendar and the selection of seemingly arbitrary dates for marking the
beginning/end of a circular event, but it seems far more obvious that the
trajectory should align with some sort of inversion, and since today is the
solstice and I happen to be awake and reasonably alert and in the mood for some
reflection – well, here we go.
2013 – You can go get fucked.
Seriously, what a shit year that was. And I am not the only
one who felt this way. A lot of things
went poorly for a lot of people. For me
personally, it was a very dark year – medically, professionally, geographically,
and I am really happy to be putting it into my rear view. I am not so naïve as to imagine that the
relative tilt of the earth’s axis to the plane of the orbit around the sun is
sufficient to drive a turnaround in circumstance, fortune, and personal energy –
but fuck it, I could benefit from a little more magic in my life. It’s not like I am going to start attending
incense laden prayer circles and hugging trees in school parking lots…
I thought I might recap the horror show of the preceding
months that brought me to the notion that I am about to commence a new chapter,
but I don’t even feel like revisiting the trauma of Kevin’s journey through
treatment for Hepatitis C, or my mother’s through breast cancer, or the soul-sucking
pageantry of working in sales, or the overshadowing feeling of isolation and loneliness
that sneak up and envelop expats on occasion, sometimes for months on end…but in
truth, I really do not feel like touching any of it, even if it is to pack it
up into tidy suitcases so I can slip them into a corner of my mental
attic. Better to just close the door on
that room altogether – or maybe rent a dumpster and resist the temptation to
sort through each pain as I toss it…but that tactic never works – I live with a
hoarder who sneaks into the rubbish after I have gone to sleep and brings the emotional
garbage back into the house, piling it in corners and walkways.
Although there is no question that I am beginning a new
chapter – what with a continental shift in my homestead, a new job, and a new
set of revitalized relationships, I truly have no reason other than intense
desire to believe that 2014 will be any better…that I will mysteriously acquire
better coping mechanisms, that the distress of aging will diminish, or that my hoarder
will suddenly start releasing his hurts to the high seas. But here’s to the glorious wonder of hope –
and of saying to the universe ”This is what I want, what I deserve. It is mine by rights, and you shall give it
to me, asshole.”
Wishing you all a wonderful, magical, mystical, practical,
and healthy 2014!
Oh, and this marks the final entry into Audra’s Australian
Adventures. I hope you have enjoyed this
chapter and thank you for your kind patronage.
I can’t make any promises of launching Audra’s American Adventures in
any formal sense, because new chapters require new formats, otherwise it gets
stale and obligatory and stops resembling fun.
And also because I know the new job will be using up a lot of my
brain-space until I develop a degree of mastery or run off to Borneo, whichever
comes first.
